In which the Heroine attempts to get back in the blogging game by posting her Fragile Things Group Read post...

It seems like every time I write a post on Fragile Things it seems as though I only have negative things to say, but yet I still consider Neil Gaiman one of my favorite contemporary writers.  I think I'm going to divide up my review of each story with a one sentence description of the piece, a favorite quotation, a statement on what worked for me and a statement about what didn't work.  Even the most loathsome of stories has something I like... even if it is just a turn of phrase or image or structural aspect. 

Locks
What it is:  A lovely poem about a father reading the tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears to his daughter.  It is a layered piece discussing the violation the three bears (especially Papa Bear) felt after having their home infiltrated by a nosy little girl, but mostly it is about the father embracing those moments when his little girl can beg for a simple story and it is easy for him to keep her safe and make her happy. 
Favorite Line:  "We owe it to each other to tell stories. / These days my sympathy's with Father Bear. / Before I leave my house I lock the door, / and check each bead and chair on my return./ Again. / Again. / Again."
What worked for  me:  I love this poem.  It is beautifully constructed, deep, and loving with out saccharine sentimentality.  This is Gaiman at this finest.  His best writing -- to me -- showcases his ability to write subtlety quite well.  It is when he "lays it all out" that I think his writing suffers.  Keep this in mind when I write on the stories for this week.
What didn't work:  no complaints!

The Problem of Susan
What it is:  a story about C. S. Lewis's Susan post-The Last Battle.  And holy hell what a train wreck.
Favorite Line:  erm..... I got nuthin'
What worked for me:  the general idea....As one who grew up in a conservative Christian home-educated environment I can say that The Chronicles of Narnia where a HUGE part of my reading life as a young girl.  The Silver Chair is one of my most favorite books, but the series as a whole was lacking to me.  I always identified with Susan the most and I was taught when reading the last book that Susan didn't get to go to heaven because Susan didn't "believe".  I don't know what C.S. Lewis had in mind with Susan, but when I turned Bikini Kill-listening Riot Girl in the seventh grade "don't be a Susan" was hammered into my head. 
I was excited to read this story, if only to get a different interpretation and I was so so so disappointed.
What didn't work:  The disgusting over-preoccupation with sex.  From staring at a killed centaur's penis to the White Witch and Aslan having post-kid eating graphic sex, the entire story was a swirling cesspool of ridiculous, overblown sex and violence.  This is Gaiman at his worst.  When Gaiman decides to get graphic he falls prey to being a shock jock of the writing world.  I hated this story.

Instructions
What it is:  Maybe Gaiman should stick with poetry?  This is a wonderful poem about fairy tales and all of the instructions one receives in fairy-land.
Favorite Line:  "Walk up the path, and through the garden / gate you never saw before but once. / And then go home. / Or make a home. / Or rest."
What worked:  EVERYTHING.  Anne Sexton, Andrew Lang, Angela Carter, and the Grimm Brothers all nob their approval.
What didn't work:  no complaints on this one, either!

How do you think it feels?
What it is:  A man is unfaithful to his wife and has a long-term affair with another woman.  He doesn't even enjoy parenting his twin girls because he can only think about how he will one day leave them for his current hot piece of ass.  What a douche.  He ends up leading a cold and lonely existence and being dominated by some sort of gargoyle he constructed from some of said girlfriend's modeling clay THAT HE JACKED OFF IN.  EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW....... Of course this gargoyle may be real or imaginary. 
Favorite Line:  ermmmmm......
What worked:  .................
What didn't work:  OMG Neil Gaiman!  The Penis is not stronger than the sword.  Quit writing with your dick and write with your brain, heart, and other higher-order organs.  Of course there is a graphic sex scene because apparently Gaiman feels that in order to be a "real" writer there must be excessive use of orgasmic juices.  GROSSSSSSSSSSS.......

Fingers crossed that next week's story want make me turn bright red when I read in public. 

Michael Meyerhofer Reading

Today I attended Michael Meyerhofer's Georgia Poetry Circle reading at my university. Meyerhofer has won numerous prizes includeing the Liam Rector First Book Prize for Poetry from Briery Creek Press. He has been previously nominated for a Pushcart Prize and he was a finalist for the Philip Levine Book Prize. In essence -- he kicks serious poetry ass.

The reading was held at noon and Meyerhofer read from two of his collections; the Liam Rector winning book Leaving Iowa and his most recent publication, a chapbook entitled The Clay-Shaper's Husband.

Here is the super-fabulous "set list:"

From Leaving Iowa:

• "Death, the First Time"
• "The Check"
• "The Witch Hazel Beggar of Chicaog Union Station"
• "Building the House"
• "Ode to the Repair Guy"
• "Iconography of the Heart"
• "The Saddest Thing"
• "The Man with Half an Ear Gets His Hair Cut"
• "Floating Womb Syndrome"
• "Silk Roses"
• "Cardboard Urn"

From The Clay-Shaper's Husband:

• "The Clay-Shaper's Husband
• "The Crayon Not Taken"
• "Samsara"
• "Hollywood Jack"
• "Intersection"
• "Against Etymology"

I have never been talented with "blurbing" a book or collection. Coming up with the perfect phrase that captures the essence of a work with pithy humor and insight escapes me. I will bumble my best surmise of Meyerhofer's work and -- at the great risk of sounding full of cheesiness -- declare that it is so completely human. Let me clarifiy and say that I don't mean human as in full of "feel-goodness-like-a -glass-of-lemonade-on-the-front-porch" and for the love of goddess I would never declare it "heart-warming." Those phrases are best applied to genre writers (ahem, yes, I am speaking to you Christian fiction) and completely undermines the complexity of Meyerhofer's work. I mean human as in dirty and real and beautiful and rhythmic and common and exquisite and about everyday and anyday and days that haven't even happened yet.

There.

Seriously. Go read his stuff NOW!

The workshop was held at 3 p.m. in the library and was well-attended (much like the reading). In this workshop, Meyerhofer answered questions about his writing background, poetry, and reading. Here are some key things I learned at this workshop:

• Meyerhofer started writing short stories first and then turned to poetry around the age of 21. He described his short stories as awful retellings of works he liked.
• To help with reading jitters one might find it helpful to pretend that he/she is reading the work of someone else aloud.
• He enjoys the work of Sharon Olds and Billy Collins.
• The best advice ever given to him by a writing instruction was "go work on this some more;" although he admits that their were more expletives in the original statement.
• His favorite poem he has written is "Ode to Dogs."
• He likes people watching at coffeeshops and malls.

Obviously, this is a very brief overview of the fabulousness that is Michael Meyerhofer. Therefore you should all buy his books and read them for yourselves!