Boils, Tripping Balls, and Storming the Castle

In super disgusting news, that you all could probably do with out, my ear infection that has been plaguing me for the past week and a half isn’t an ear infection. No – it is a BOIL festering in my ear. Are you properly disgusted? I know I am! When I stared at the nurse practitioner with gaping jaw and obvious incredulity she said that it wasn’t the grossest thing she’d seen. The grossest thing she had ever seen in someone’s ear was a dead bug. So yesterday consisted of me squealing like a baby (I couldn’t cuss like a sailor as Hope was present), near vomiting while she extracted some of the puss out of said boil for a culture, and then wobbling on weak legs down to the pharmacy for super-mega antibiotics (which will probably give me a heinous yeast infection) and pain medication.

Oh, yeah, and I gained 5 pounds since this summer.

All in all I felt disgusting, bloated, fat, and had my ear throbbing and sore. Miserable. Absolutely miserable.

Inky Darcy came over last night to spend the night and I was able to take a pain pill. I don’t like taking things like that when I am the only adult in the house because I’m convinced that Hope would be ill and need me or the house would burn down and I’d be snoring away in my bed oblivious to all the mayhem.

That night I’m laying in bed after resting my ear on a heating pad and waiting for the pain pill to kick in; Inky, Hope, and the cat are sound asleep and suddenly it hits. I felt like a pile of mushy Jello, the room moved, lights flickered – it was terrible. I think I might have even drooled a bit on myself. And this is only with me taking half a dose; you’d think that the amount of acid I dropped in high school would make immune to the wondrous hallucinations cause by pain medication. Alas, I was tripping balls.

Anyhoo, at least Hope was utterly good and adorable yesterday. She gave me many speeches on how it didn’t matter that I was fat – after all its what is “deep deep down inside all the fat that counts.” Thanks…..I think.

She also played Princess Bride last night by rigging up a Harry Potter robe and some scarves as a dress and turning an old desk, two bottles of black fingernail polish, a hoodie, two hairbrushes, embroidery floss, and a huge black, bottle of shampoo as a horse. I have pictures, but blogger is a bitch and won’t let me post them. Needless to say it was very creative. The stairs served as a monstrous mountain we had to climb and the cat was a shrieking eel. Which by the way, an eight year-old girl’s impression of a shrieking eel will make a sore ear worse, but is worth it for the giggles.

So that’s my update for now, expect something bookish in the near future!