Photo Friday: The Work Notes Editon

Work is really busy.  I was out of town for a training and I thought I'd share my notes.  I know I probably shouldn't doodle, but it actually keeps me from fidgeting when people are going on and on and on and on.....

Anyhoo, I've got so much to tell from my Blog Holiday.  I'll catch up soon!

A Quick Update...

My week off of work ended heavenly.

Sam finished my owl tattoo.

I squeezed in reading and coffee.

I baked whole wheat banana chocolate chip muffins.

I also had lunch with my Dad and he came over to help us build our raised bed for the garden.  I went on a few walks and I enjoyed a lot of sitting back and relaxing.  It was lovely.

Now it is back to work.  I'm tired.  I'm always tired after a vacation.  It is hard to get back to the go go go go go.  I've mountains of work to catch-up on, a huge strategic planning meeting on Thursday (retch), and it is about time to round up graduation holds for folks who have crazy unpaid library fines.

I promise, honest to blog, that I will post my nerdy bookshelf post next time I blog.  I'm hoping that will either be tomorrow or Thursday.  We'll see how things go.  

Operation Momcation

This may be hyperbolic.  Maybe.

www.toothpastefordinner.com

Friday was my last day of work until March 5th.  It was an incredibly stressful day.  Next week is the University's Spring Break meaning that the campus will be closed Wednesday - Friday.  The library is closed as well and I decided to take Monday and Tuesday off and use up some vacation time.

Ever since the Unpleasantness at work back in December I have had a pretty crummy time working.  I've been consistently ill and it seems like there is some sort of insane personal drama going on with a coworker or it is simply piles and piles of work.  I am the university library ILL department and that isn't even my entire job.  I'm worn out, frustrated, and wondering when things will look up.

Strep in December.  Two bouts of sinusitis.  One round of bronchitis.  Three separate antibiotic treatments.  Pinkeye.  Antibiotic drops.  A horrid yeast infection from so many antibiotics.  I'm sleeping more, taking a multi-vitamin, exercising for an hour 4-5 times a week, taking probiotics, eating healthy, and I'm drinking water and green tea.  I've cut down on sugar, coffee, carbs, and fatty foods.  I've lost 11 pounds.  I should be healthy.  But I'm not.

You know what this means -- stress.  I'm sick from the stress.  Say what you will about that being a crutch.  Stress makes me sick.  It isn't the short blips of daily or weekly stress, no, it is that long continual drain.  I thought back to when things first got so bad at work I went to my library director.  January of 2009.  The drama has changed faces and sometimes it isn't even a person (i.e. the roof caving in, tar stench seeping in during re-roofing, SACS visits, an increased work load) but there is a great deal of coworker drama.  With a staff of 5 librarians and 2 paraprofessionals for nearly 3,000 students that is a very significant load and everyone is feeling the stress.  Of course work isn't the only issue.  I need to get car and money is tight.  Atticus is working on getting some molars and he is clingy ( I nursed him from 5:19am until 8am today), Hope is dealing with mean girls at school, Sam is working two jobs and I don't get to see him as often as I like. I'm trying to be a good mom, an excellent wife, a stellar employee and it is making me tired. 

I'm worried about stress because usually my physical health is attacked and then comes Depression and Anxiety problems.  The semester I was hospitalized I had strep, bronchitis, and the flu before the depression got bad.  I had a bout of depression when Sam and I were recently engaged and prior to that I had staph infections in both ears for several months.  It really didn't hit me until the other day, but my physical body gives before my mental health and I should really listen to that. Then I thought about Sylvia Plath just before her suicide (no, I'm not suicidal, just making connections).  She was doing the single mom thing, writing, issues with Ted, money problems, AND SHE HAD THE FLU.  Things always seem worse when your body is ill.  Yup.  Listen to your body.

I'm obviously doing all the physical self-care, and now I feel like it is time for some Mental Health Rejuvenation.  Sam is at work for this week (he may get one weekday off) and the kids are going to school.  Hope has school and I'm taking Atticus to daycare.  Do you know how guilty I feel knowing that Sam is working and my baby is in daycare while I relax?  Horrid guilt.  But I know it is silly, I should be allowed a break and Atticus LOVES daycare.

So what is on my plate for my momcation?  Solitude.  I'd like to say that I'll catch up with friends, but honestly I just need some alone time.  I'm an introvert and I'm feeling drained.  I haven't made too many plans.  Loads of reading.  Long walks.  Naps.  Pots of Tea.  Puttering. I will not check my work email.  Or succumb to mom-guilt and spend my time reorganizing the basement or cooking freezer meals.  Just the prospect of some down time makes my shoulders relax.

I'm already feeling a bit better since this weekend.  Sam and I had a date:  coffee, lunch, thrifting, a movie.  I even got roses!  Today was bright and sunny.  I spent the morning cleaning and then this afternoon Sam went to work and Hope was at the aquarium with my parents.  Atticus and I napped, went for a walk, played outside, and I even managed to squeeze in a little reading.

I'll check in periodically and let you all know how my momcation is coming along.   I am planning on doing a bit of blogging when the fancy strikes, I have booksale treasures and thrifted trinkets to share. I think I may also do a wee readathon on Wednesday.  I'll be twittering with a #momcation hashtag.  Hopefully next Monday will see me bright, chipper, and eager to get back to shit-filled canals. 

Thoughts on a Library Disaster

I haven't blogged in a while.  Actually, it feels like ages and ages.  I ran into the problem of only wanting to blog about One Thing and feeling like I should keep my mouth shut.  The gumption to write about something -- anything -- else has been absent.  So.  I'm going to open my mouth and write what I've been wanting to write.  First of all I would like to make some things clear:

1. I am one person.  These are my impressions and ideas and I have not been fully briefed by all the parties involved.  I could be very wrong in some of the statements I make, but know that I make these statements based on observation and having folks in the know confide in me.
2. If  you know which University and Library I work for, please keep that information out of comments, links, and posts relating to this.  I love my University and Library and I don't want to cause undo stress because I feel the need to whine.
3. No one has communicated to me written or verbally that I should not discuss this matter.  I was waiting for the big "Don't Talk About It" from the higher up folks, but it never came.
4. I'm not sharing pictures because I do not want to effect any legal action that may or may not take place.

Alright.

It rained inside of the library last Friday.

It RAINED INSIDE OF THE LIBRARY last Friday.

Not a drip.  Not a trinkle.  An actual rain.

So what happened?

We've had roofers re-roofing our library and last Thursday night they left the site and didn't COVER THE OPEN ROOF.  Yes, there was a large gaping hole in the roof.  There were ceiling tiles, but no roof.  And, yes, it rained that night.

Fast  forward to Friday morning.

The housekeeper arrives at 7:30am and disarms our alarmed building.  I arrive at 7:45am, put my bags in the office, and head off to the break -room to brew a pot of coffee.  While the coffee brews I leave our work area and head out to our Information Desk area.  The housekeeper and I are talking and we realize that in the very back of our one-story library there are men crawling around in the dark with bags.  At first I freak out, but then I recognize one of the men as a roofer and I notice they are counting something on the ceiling.  The housekeeper and I head to the back together to investigate.

I flip on the back lights and stand in the middle of the library.  I'm all at once panicked, angry, confused, and pretty much flabbergasted.  The carpet is soaked so badly in places that I'm splashing.  Wet, broken ceiling tiles are on the floor, the study tables, the couches, and some are draped across the actual books.  Water is dripping in places and streaming in others.  A few ceiling tiles are "pregnant", i.e. full to bulging with water and about to burst.  The fluorescent light panels are filled with water.  Can I just say I was so proud of myself for not letting out a torrent of profanities?

One roofer has the AUDACITY to tell me it rained around the books and hit the floor.  At that moment I'm staring at a volume of Sherlock Holmes being dripped on. The most damage is in the P's.   Those of you familiar with academic libraries  and the Library of Congress call number system will know that the "P's" are LITERATURE.

Stretching back, some science, medicine, and textiles books are damaged but the brunt of the damage is in the literature section.  Chinese literature is okay, but after that the damage begins with British literature taking the most damage.

I left the back area and immediately called my library director (she was on her way to work and didn't answer the phone) and called my supervisor.  Then some librarians showed up.  We closed the library for the day.  After that, the day was a blur: cleaning crews, administrators, insurance folks, roofers, concerned professors, consultants, maintenance workers, and art gallery personnel were in and out of the library all day.

We library folks headed to the damaged area to salvage what we could.   My first thought was to check on Elizabeth Bowen because I knew she lived on a top shelf.  There she was under a tile about to burst.  I grabbed every last Bowen volume and threw it on a library cart.  Rupert Brooke, alas, was already soaked through.  George Eliot was saved as was Thomas Hardy.  Sylvia Plath is soaked.  Shakespeare, Conrad, and Melville are pretty much gone.

Around 10 am, we couldn't do any more and had to turn things over to the professional cleaners.  We went for coffee on campus and later that day we went out for Thai food.  We were shocked and MAD AS HELL.

If this had been the product of a natural disaster I think we all would have been grateful for what we could salvage and that no one was hurt.  But this damage was from lazy stupidity.  Seriously?  You leave the roof open?  All of this could have been prevented.  The one thing I'm most thankful for is that it wasn't over our rare book gallery.

The past few days have been a period of waiting.  I worked at a yearbook camp over the weekend (I pretty much just set at the front desk and made sure no teenagers messed with the collection, artwork, or the disaster area).  I worked this week at the library, but didn't go into the disaster zone.  I turned off our ILL lending, I stalled a book fine project because I couldn't check the stacks for lost books, I tried to catch-up on other things.

We began to hear encouraging things -- many books would be saved, things were drying out, everything would be okay.  Until yesterday.  Yesterday the library staff went to the back to check for mold blooms.  I didn't go, as I have a mold allergy.   I went back there for 5 minutes to ask a question (because I heard it wasn't too bad back there) and it is bad.  My throat went scratchy and the air smelled bleh.  Today, I'm home with congestion, a sinus headache, and a sore throat.  The librarians looked grim.

I don't know what the final fallout will be.  I don't know what will be replaced or how much money the University can spend.  Oh, and classes start Monday.

The past few days I've had a silly panic.  I forgot to check on Rebecca West.  I cannot tell you how much that bothers me.  She is on a top shelf.  I hope she isn't damaged, because I can guarantee you she won't be replaced.  I don't believe a single university course teaches her and our replacements will need to support authors taught in the contemporary university classroom

This panic led to a strange book buying spree on my lunch break yesterday.  In 15 minutes I blew through the local charity book shop and bought 6 books.  It was weird.  I joke about needing to buy books and book binges, but most of the time I'm being hyperbolic.  This was a weird snatching, grabbing, desperate, sort of books buying. I'll share the purchases in a different post.

So that's it.  That's what's running through my mind.  It fucking rained in our library.  IT FUCKING RAINED IN OUR LIBRARY.

Notes on a Cold, Solitude, and The Weekend

On a Cold

My allergy-induced illness turned into a dreadful cold by Wednesday evening.  Being pregnant, I was advised to only take Benadryl (Zyrtec did nothing).  Benadryl affects me like a gallon of gin; I spent Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday in a daze, with more boogers than one human should have in a lifetime, and plagued by a cold, clammy sweat that wouldn't go away.

By Friday afternoon I was barely caught up at work, dehydrated, having contractions (again) and ready to quit my job and join the circus.  No one was at work (nearly half the staff out or at meetings) and someone pooped on the floor of the bathroom.  Yes, a college student shat on the floor AND WALKED THROUGH IT.  I conducted 2 trainings, handled a mess of interlibrary loan requests, and pondered "why-in-the-hell-is-an-academic-library-running-like-a-Fortune-500-company."  I've had enough of meaningless meetings, self-important garble, and statistics. Work was stressful.  One desperate call to the OB/GYN later, and I was armed with a new medication, Zyrtec-D, and instructions to hydrate and rest.

I came home, showered, drank an entire bottle of SmartWater in one go, medicated and flopped into bed for a wonderful two-hour nap.  Sam -- awesome husband that he is -- handled soccer practice, dinner, and playing with Hope so I could rest.  I awoke feeling worlds better.  The contractions died down as did my work rage concerns.

On Solitude

I'm in a weird place right now that only my introvert friends will understand.  For the past 6 weeks I've had least three social events a week (school meetings, dinners with family and friends, baby showers, outings, chatting at the coffee shop, etc...).  I adore my friends and love spending time with them, but I crave a weekend of solitude with my family.  I'm avoiding the phone, endeavoring to avoid Facebook, and trying my best to engage in hermitude.

As a fan of the Meyers-Brigg Personality Assessment (I'm an INFJ) I can tell you that extroverts and introverts handle social activity very differently.  Extroverts are energized by social engagements, Introverts are typically exhausted by social engagements.  Not in a negative way, we enjoy time with friends, we just need solitude to recharge and refresh.

Of course this could just be a quirk of pregnancy making me crave solitude with family.  Atticus will be here in 9 weeks and each weekend is fastly filling up with social engagements.  I need some quiet time to read, think, sleep, and cuddle with my family before I have those sleepless nights of breastfeeding stretching out before me.  Have any other mothers experienced this?

On the Weekend

This weekend will be marvelous:  Sam and Hope are out playing soccer, Autumn is certainly in the air, and I'm sitting in a cushy chair at Starbucks sipping a pumpkin spice latte.  Plans for later include the family finishing up a challenging owl jigsaw puzzle, flopping on the couch to watch Where the Wild Things Are, and munching on popcorn.  When Hope is in bed I plan on finishing up Alison Weir's Mary Queen of Scots and the Murder of Lord Darnley.  Tomorrow we have plans to do the weekly grocery shopping, make baby shower thank-you cards, and take a trip to the library.

Alright, I'm off to resume my Hobbit-esque weekend!

Weekend Update and a Tardy Sunday Salon

Roommate was away on vacation this weekend and, as much as I love her to pieces, it was rather nice to enjoy some quiet alone time. Friday I spent in the throes of productivity. I bought groceries and stayed under budget, re-caulked the bathroom, baked Blueberry bread, and read a ton.

Saturday was spent cleaning and washing clothes only to find out that all the dryers at my apartment complex were broken (all two of them). Then I had to get creative and drape wet towels all over the apartment to dry. Following the laundry drama, I went on a lovely drive with my dad and Hope to get some pizza.

That afternoon my fellow nerd, Erin, picked me up. We spent 6 hours at Inman Perk and after a mocha and two medium cups of coffee each we were both crazy-caffienated. What followed was a bizarre ADD-infused shopping trip to Target. When I got home I discovered a pile of furniture next to the apartment complex and nabbed a small bookcase.

What a wonderful weekend.

Now for that tardy Sunday Salon:

• I read pages 270-274 of Clarissa. (I know, not very impressive, but Innocent Traitor is begging to be finished.) These pages include a ridiculus letter from Clarissa's seducer, Lovelace, in which wild exclaimations of love are proclaimed and every sentence ends with an exclaimation point. I really should be reading Clarissa right now as I made it my lunch break read, but I have a headache and cannot muster reading Clarissa's martyrish reply to Lovelace.
• I read about 50 pages of Innocent Traitor: A Novel of Lady Jane Grey by Alison Weir. It is fabulous. In this portion of the novel, a ten-year-old Jane is sent to live with former Queen Katherine Parr and her new husband, Admiral Thomas Seymour and the Lady Elizabeth (as in future queen Elizabeth). While she is there Katherine and Thomas conive to marry Jane to King Edward and Thomas has an inappropriate dalliance with Lady Elizabeth. Then Elizabeth is sent away and Katherine discovers she is pregnant. Katherine dies in childbirth, Jane is sent back to her parent's home, and Thomas has his head lopped off for attempting to kidnap the King. Talk about exciting!

Well, I'm off to do more workish things right now since my lunch break is nearly over. Then I get to work on moving out of my cubbie and into my new OFFICE!!!