Sunday, December 20, 2009

True Confessions: WEDDING SECRETS EXPOSED!

Back in October I realized that I was exactly one year away from the wedding.  ONE YEAR AWAY and I freaked.

See what happened was I did what a lot of brides do:  I started moving away from my dream wedding and to a "WEDDING".  When I first pictured my wedding it had a very strong DIY element.  I want to make the invitations, cake, favors, etc... I want folks to show up in jeans.  I want to wear my $3 thrifted dress with the neon turquoise Docs.  It would be a short ceremony with no long reception and it would be cheap.  No bouquet toss, or garter, or toasts, or dancing.

Okay -- hold that image in your head..... got it?

Seemingly doable ... until you realize that nearly 150 people will be at the wedding.

WTF?

My introvert's dream of a small wedding looked impossible.  I want to be able to hang-out with the people I love. So what happened and how did my dream start turn into a TLC special?

My problem is that Sam and I love a lot of people -- despite putting on a curmudgeon act.  When you add in both of our families (and extended families), all our coffeeshop loafing friends, college friends, high school friends, coworkers, etc.... the numbers move up.  I was paranoid about leaving someone out.  Oh, and then toss in everyone's significant other.  And kids, I want a kid friendly wedding so there will be tons of kids.

Of course more guests mean a bigger venue, and a need to do all the rituals, and then the thought of crafting and baking for 150+ people threw me in a tizzy.  Although invitations hadn't gone out people were expecting to be invited.  Every conversation turned to "how are the wedding plans?"


In early November I flipped out and canceled everything.  I told Sam that we would take an afternoon in January, pick Hope up from school early, and head to the courthouse.  I didn't want ANYONE there -- not even my parents.  I lamented the fact that I didn't plan better and get knocked up so we could use the excuse of a good ole country shotgun wedding.  Sam talked me off the ledge and I did what any freaked out bride would do:  I called my mom.

Two weeks later, I had my dream wedding planned.  We're getting married January 16th at my Grandmother's house with less than 30 people attending.  Close family and 4 or 5 mutual friends will be attending.  I handmade invitations using Amy Butler paper and a John Donne poem.  I'm practicing baking cupcakes.  There will be no attendants, tossing of bouquets, or aisle walking.  We'll say our vows, eat a cupcake, and hit the road to eat Thai food and head off to Athens for a weekend honeymoon.  I'm truly excited and relaxed.

The one hitch in my calm is that I didn't know how to tell all the folks expecting invites to a huge wedding.  It felt deceptive to wait and then surprise everyone with a wedding announcement.  Not only that, but my coworkers knew the wedding plans changed -- I had to take some vacation time -- and then other folks on campus found out and I would DIE if one of my friends found out from someone other than me.  The last thing I want is for someone to feel unloved or left out.

So there we go:  in less than a month I will be Mrs. Roper.  No stress, no freaking out, and all handmade.

4 comments:

Giggly said...

Sounds perfect. :) It will be special and lovely, I'm sure of that! I am so happy for you guys!! XOXOX

We never had a wedding. We we're were too shy and and freaked out by the idea, so we just had a court house marriage. :-/ lol

Mrs. Roper eh? Like from Three's Company. :) Sorry, that just popped in my head....

Amanda said...

that's what everyone says about my being Mrs. Roper! Too funny!

Traci said...

Yay! I think that sounds perfect, and much sooner, which is great! I'm glad you're doing things the way you want to do them... that's all that matters anyways.

Clover said...

That sounds wonderful. I really wish I had my dream wedding instead of the one I had! Good for you for making the hard decisions.