B is for Baking

Baking by nerdy_book_girl featuring retro tops

Retro top
$13 - modcloth.com

Because I <3 lists... a meme...

Five Ways to Win My Heart:

• clean the bathroom
• making coffee
• a back rub
• arranging time for me to read uninterrupted
• babies

Some things I feel strongly about:

• Breastfeeding
• DIY culture
• parenting
• body modification acceptance
• human rights

Favorite books from the past year:

• Someone at a Distance by Dorothy Whipple
• The Sunne in Splendour by Sharon Kay Penman
• Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens
• Saplings by Noel Streatfeild
• The Stolen Crown by Susan Higginbotham

Highlights of my day:

• Target shopping with Hope
• napping in the afternoon
• coffee and reading tonight
• watching Atticus attempt crawling
• smooching Sam

What I'm listening to:

• Wolf Parade
• St. Vincent
• Wye Oak
• Explosions in the Sky
• Fleet Foxes

Pet Peeves:

• hair in the bathroom sink
• people talking AT me and not TO me
• asking me the same question a million times
• improperly brewing tea
• dirty dishes in the sink at work (i.e. lazy-ass coworkers!)

What I ate today:

• Cream of Wheat
• leftover home made vegan pizza with basil, spinach, asparagus, and sundried tomatoes
• a spring salad with walnuts, blueberries, and cranberries
• biscotti
• spaghetti

What's planned for this weekend:

• Farmer's market
• A sleepover for Hope
• First pool trip of the summer
• Visiting my parents
• cleaning the house

Guys I find attractive:

• Sam
• Thor!!!
• Richard Armitage
• Tom Hardy
• Ira Glass

Lusting after:

• a new tattoo
• chocolate cake
• cute sandals
• a new summer purse
• JoAnn's !!! (opening soon!)

My fears:

• spiders
• my family dying
• germs
• clowns
• Sarah Palin

Goals for the next year:

• lose 52 pounds
• learn to sew
• take a trip with Sam
• read 52 books
• save money

What I miss:

• being tattooed
• sleep
• having "time" with Sam
• Catherine
• my credit cards

Things I dislike about my self:

• my body
• my bad temper
• my penchant for swearing
• depression
• my low self esteem

Five things I like about my self:

• trying my best to be a good wife/mom
• my sense of humor
• loyalty to my friends
• my nerdiness
• my independence

What I'm doing tomorrow:

• watching The King's Speech and stitching
• reading
• making chili
• playing with the kids
• more smooching Sam

My Vacation Readathon

This upcoming week I work Monday, Tuesday, and a half-day on Wednesday and then I'm taking some days off until next Tuesday.  That gives me 5 1/2 days off in a row.  Ah, bliss.

Atticus will still be going to daycare for the week (although I'll be picking him up early).  First off we paid for it and secondly I'm going to spend some time with Hope.  We have summer clothes shopping to do and a few awkward and necessary  discussions to have as she approaches middle school.  She is also having her future aunt spend the night (Hope is BFF with my brother's fiancée's younger sister) and that means hanging out with two very giggly little girls.  We've also decided to spend sometime having our own little readathon as part of our vacation.

My goal is to read 24 hours over the course of my vacation.  This means spending roughly 4-5 hours a day in readerly pursuits.  Of course, this has presented the perfect opportunity to grab a little notebook out of my stash for tracking this here readathon.  I'll be noting the time I start and end, my location, what I'm reading, and how much reading I've completed.  No promises, but I'll try to update my reading progress at least once a day.

This little challenge will help me in several ways:

1. I hope to whittle down my towering TBR pile and finish several library books
2. I hope to become more aware and appreciative of the time I have to read.  I do a lot of reading while nursing, waiting in line, cooking (much to the detriment of my cooking), and yes, even in the bathroom (mom's will understand that sometimes the bathroom excuse is the only way to be left alone).  I'm always lamenting that I don't get CHUNKS of reading time, if I was more aware that all of those little bits do add up, then I might feel a bit better about my reading.
3. I'll have an excuse to read!

I've assembled a little book pile to get me going:

• The Collected Sonnets of Edna St. Vincent Millay
• The Queen's Man by Sharon Kay Penman
• The Paris Wife by Paula McLain
• Girls to the Front: The True Story of the Riot Grrrl Revolution by Sara Marcus
• Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
• The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley
• Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay by Nancy Milford

Wish me luck!  Anyone else planning Memorial Day Weekend readathons?

The Classics Circuit: Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens

Hi, folks!  Welcome to my tardy Classic Circuit post on Charles Dicken's rags-to-riches-to-rags novel Little Dorrit.  I think this may be my last post for the Classics Circuit.  I love reading along and I love expanding my literary horizons, but for the life of me I can't seem to finish a book and post on time.  Letting folks down isn't cool, so in the future I'll read-a-long and post at my own pace (i.e. I won't "technically" be a participant).

I adore Charles Dickens with Bleak House being my most favorite novel.  Little Dorrit now stands as my second favorite novel.  The usual Dickensian elements are at work: a large volume containing a multitude of characters (some earnest and good, some nefarious, and some comical) and a main plot with several side plots that all seem to connect at the end.

This is the story of Amy Dorrit, a small, quiet, young woman born and raised in the Marshalsea debtor's prison by her father -- William Dorrit.  She works as a seamstress for a very Miss Havisham-type woman, Mrs. Clennam.  When Arthur Clennam returns from sea bearing the news that his father has died and left him with the cryptic task to remind his mother Do Not Forget.  This sets off a chain of events that will propel Amy and Arthur to riches and poverty, illness and loneliness, and -- ultimately -- happiness.

Charles Dicken's masterful writing is at his best in this novel.  The conversations are full of life and true to his characters, there are beautiful descriptive passages setting mood and place, and his wit is razor-sharp.  I found myself vacillating between hope, sadness, laughter, suspense, and certainly enjoying every page.

I hate to say it, but -- although I adore Jane Austen -- I find that Charles Dickens has thoroughly whopped her butt in the literary arena.

Acquisitions and a Meme

Last week was really bookish.  I had two chances to pick-up reads to borrow and reads to keep.

On Thursday I went to the library, I picked up a copy of Edna St. Vincent Millay's collected sonnets, a vegan cookbook, a cookie cookbook, The Paris Wife by Paula McLain, Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley, and And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie.

Saturday I accidentally ended up in the local charity bookshop (how did that happen?!).  For less than $10 I picked up:

Iris: The Life of Iris Murdoch by Peter J. Conradi

The Worshipful Lucia and Trouble for Lucia by E.F. Benson

a 1903 children's poetry book in EXCELLENT condition

Now time for a bookish meme......

I've seen this all around the blog-o-sphere, but it originated with Simon over at Stuck in a Book. 

The book I'm currently reading...

The last book I finished...

The next book I want to read...

The last book I bought...

The last book I was given...

Okay, booknerds, time to play along... gimme five books....

Song of Myself

I’ve had two events happen in the past few weeks that have radically motivated me to change aspects of my life:

Exhibit A:  I was out and about with Sam and the kids.  I had spit-up on my shirt, the hem was coming out of one pant leg, I didn’t have on socks, my makeup was smudged, an earring missing, and I couldn’t find my phone in the diaper bag.  I was yelling at Hope and shushing Atticus.  Sam was ordering coffees.  I looked outside and saw another MOM.  She was smiling, her ponytailed hair fresh and bouncy, her outfit immaculate, nails done, not pudgy at all, makeup on, and I was intensely jealous.  I could feel my eyes welling up and I asked Sam “HOW… How does she do it?  Why?  Why can’t I get myself together???? “

Exhibit B:  Our weekend getaway to Athens was fantastic.  One of the things I most enjoyed was that I was able to pay attention to myself.  I actually chewed my food at dinner.  My hair was brushed and I wore a cute dress.  I slept soundly at night and awoke refreshed.  My food consisted of fair-trade coffee, locally grown produce, and delicious vegan baked goods.  We spent the entire weekend outdoors walking.  Essentially, I felt like I was able to take care of myself. The result of this fantastic weekend was that I returned home a rested, happy mama ready to play with the kiddos.

I need so much to get away from Exhibit A and find more ways to live an Exhibit B life.  This means that I need to become a bit selfish.  Perhaps selfish is the wrong word; I need to be more…. self-caring.

This is no easy thing to accomplish.  I spend so much time cleaning the house, balancing bills, working and worrying about everything and everyone else.  Maybe I need to treat myself as well as I treat other people?  The kids are routinely bathed, their clothes are cute, mended, and clean, food is to their liking (for the most part) and nutritious.  I would never treat my children as I treat myself.  My goal is to instill in them healthy habits and I need to teach them by example and take care of myself.

My new challenge to myself is to create one goal for three separate categories (i.e. a total of three goals) for the month.  My challenge will be to devote that month to the three goals and hopefully, as a result, I’ll have some new, healthy habits.  This challenge will last a year, so by my 32^nd birthday in April I will have accomplished a great deal.

This is certainly a challenge.  I was trying to come up with different categories and I realized that I started slipping towards caring for others and not myself.  For example, I thought of doing a finances focus, but really the problem is that I scrimp and save to feed and clothe the kids and in the process forget myself.  Determining goals was tough as well; at one point making baby food, reorganizing the basement, and making homemade bread for everyone I know was on the list.  Fun and productive, but time-consuming, exhausting, and isn’t all about me.

At last I found my categories and determined my goals.  My three categories are HEALTH, APPEARANCE, and INDIVIDUALITY.  Health concerns my physical body, Appearance concerns MY perception of my body, and Individuality means that I’m thinking of myself as Amanda and not my other roles (mom, wife, sister, daughter, employee, and friend).  I’ve determined a calendar of goals in each area, but that is subject to change.  Before I discuss my May goals, I want to share some ground rules I set for myself:

1. Be reasonable:  I tried not to set unattainable goals.  I’m one of those “all or nothing” kinda gals.  If I say I’m going to exercise for an hour everyday and I don’t do it.  I’m going to throw away exercise all together and sit on the couch.  But if my goal is simply to do something outside five days a week, then I have a greater chance of getting exercise (or at the very least soak up some vitamin D).


2. No negativity:  Instead of NO FAST FOOD or LESS COFFEE or QUIT WEARING WORN OUT SHOES TO WORK, I’m focusing on positive changes.  These positive changes will, I think, help eliminate the negative behavior.  For example, if my goal is to drink 64oz of water a day, then of course I’ll end up with less coffee/soda/sugary tea, but I’ll be focusing on taking in water and not on all the things I can’t have.


3. Practice awareness:  I want these things to become habits or at the very least things I can do without guilt (like going away for the weekend or leaving Atticus in daycare a bit longer to get a pedicure).  This means I need to stop and think about myself while I’m doing these things.  How do I feel? How do I look? How different will this make my life?

Okay, on to May’s goals!

• HEALTH:  Make a vegan meal one night a week.  This was going to be making a vegetarian meal, but since I’m dairy-free, I figure I might as well go vegan.


• APPEARANCE:  Put together a Spring/Summer wardrobe that reflects my personality.  This means cleaning out my closets, getting rid of the stained and unflattering garments, ditching my last bit of maternity wear, setting a budget, planning out purchases (because I’m poor) and expressing myself.  I want to make sure that I don’t focus solely on work-clothes and I have a few things to wear on the weekends.


• INDIVIDUALITY:   Journaling for 15 minutes a day.  My blog has truly become my journal, but I still love the feel of pen on paper.  My goal is to journal at the end of every day.  However, it will be more like a list of what happened during the day.  I love those types of diaries!  It will be fun to have a reflection on my day and all the accomplishments.  In addition, I’ll get down all the milestones Atticus and Hope reach.

Expect periodic updates on my progress and I welcome feedback and advice.  My first task is to make a vegan meal Saturday night.  I’m leaning towards Gazpacho, but I’d love to hear of other recipes and suggestions.  Wish me luck!

The kids are alright...

Child evacuees

In April I read two books back to back that I assumed would be vastly different.  I was surprised by how much the books had in common.  The books in question are Saplings by Noel Streatfeild and Room by Emma Donoghue.  I read Saplings first and the book haunted me through my entire reading of Room.

First, some background on these seemingly disparate books.  Saplings was published in 1945 and concerns the four Wiltshire children:  Laurel, Tony, Kim, and Tuesday.  The Wiltshires -- Alex and Lena -- are financial comfortable and assisted with the child rearing by Nanny and a governess -- Ruth.  Alex is certainly the more "hands on" parent and Lena sees her identity primarily as a wife, but she does love her children.  All is well until World War II when Alex is killed during a shell attack in London.  This tragic event is the catalyst for the demise of the happy family.  The novel is primarily told from the perspective of the children and it is quite illuminating to see war and "grown-up" problems from a child's perspective.

Room is a 2010 short-listed Man Booker novel by Emma Donoghue.  This story is about Jack -- a five year old boy who lives in captivity with his Ma.  Kidnapped as a college student, Ma has been kept in an 11x11 shed by her kidnapper, Old Nick.  Jack is the product of sexual assault, but nevertheless Jack is the one source of hope and joy for Ma.  This book details their lives imprisoned in the shed and what happens after their escape.

On the surface, these books seem very dissimilar, but -- in truth -- the books seem to compliment each other.  Both novels are told from a child's perspective and both novels are filled with well-meaning, but blundering adults.  The Wiltshire children are propelled towards misery by the errant actions of adults.  For example, Laurel is removed from a school she adored because Lena thinks that school has made her moody (in truth it is her mother's behavior after her father's death) and Tony is suffering from PTSD while the adults worry that he is merely being a rebel.  In Room, Jack views his prison as home and actually has his mother's full attention and comfort; once he is free he is overwhelmed by the real world and his mother is interacting with other people and (albeit unintentionally) not giving him the same amount of attention Jack is used to.  The tiny shed represents comfort and the free world leads him to feel alienated.  All so, the relatives that show-up are not prepared for introducing a child to the world (a simple trip to buy a birthday gift proves disastrous).

Another common thread in Saplings and Room -- adults think that they know everything about children and children are oblivious to the blunders of adults.  The adults in Saplings are convinced that they understand how children grieve and end up alienating the Wiltshire children further.  In Room, the adults forget that the concepts of freedom, space, individuality, reality, and imagination are lost on young Jack.  He spends most of the novel in confusion and unsure of how to act in the real world.  The children of both novels are continually dismayed by the "badness" of some adults.  The Wiltshire children know of their mother's problems after Alex's death, they know they are different, they know that war is ugly and terrible and the false reassurances of adults ring hollow.  They recognize that bad choices by adults are the reason they suffer.  Jack doesn't understand why adults can be hurtful.  Why would anyone want to hurt his ma?  Laurel best summed up the problem with adults:

I'm beginning to wonder if we've not been told things wrong.  I mean, we're told that children behave badly and grown-ups are always right.  I wonder if we shan't find that grown-ups do worse things than children (240)."

Saplings and Room are beautifully crafted novels that truly capture the voice and perspective of children.  Still, weeks later, I find myself thinking about both books and wondering about how my children view the world and their mother.