Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Weight Loss Update and Getting Back on Track

I'm feeling a bit scattered at the moment in a Voldymort/Horcruxy sort of way -- a piece here... a piece there... all pulled in different directions.  This post may be a bit scattered because I can't seem to sit still and think.  Or rather, I think but in a disjointed steam-of-consciousness fashion. 

In fact you should know that the above teensy bit was written over an hour ago.  I got up from my computer, went to my bedroom, stared at the bookshelf.  How's that for productivity.  I can't decide if I should clean the house or finish this post.  Okay, I'll finish the post, but I'm giving my self a time limit to bang it out.


We now begin our actual post -- Weight Loss Update:

Beginning Weight 01/01/12:  296

Current Weight 5/16/12:  271.4

I've almost lost 25 pounds and that means an average of 5lbs a month which is what I was going for initially.

But, y'all, I'm so sick of it.  I'm tired of eating healthy.  I'm tired of exercising.  I'm tired of drinking water.  I'd like to waller (as we say in Georgia) in a vat of deep fried something.  I've allowed myself a few breaks -- but my weight loss has slowed down.

I've poked around in my profile on My Fitness Pal and I've realized something.  I have sabotaged myself by getting too crazy.  When I was successfully losing weight I was doing several things:
  1. Drinking 8 glasses of water a day
  2. Consuming calories calculated to ensure a 1 lb a week loss, plus calories for breastfeeding, plus eating back my exercise calories. 
  3. I exercised 4 days on, 1 day off.  When that was difficult to balance with home and work life I switched to 2 days on, 1 day off.  That seemed to work better.
  4. I varied my exercise.  I mostly went for walks and when my allergies got bad I switched to belly dance and 30 Day Shred.
  5. I took my vitamin pack and probiotic every day.  
When I was so excited about my weight loss I decided to ramp things up a bit:
  1. I tried for 12 plus glasses of water -- which I didn't often achieve because I got sick of the stuff.
  2. I tried to exercise Monday - Friday.  Mostly 30 Day Shred.  I hate 30 Day Shred.  Yes I've toned and I can feel a difference, but I hurt my elbow doing Traveling Pushups and I keep having to take a days off to get the twinge to go away.  Also, I *hate* it when Jillian says "you should be seeing your six pack abs now if you're doing everything right."  Fuck you, Jillian.  I weigh just over 270 lbs.  I'm not going to see a six pack for a long while.
  3. I quit adding breast feeding calories.  I went to 1,700 calories with eating back my exercise calories.  Then I found I was still hungry or tired and I would over eat and then not record the calories because I felt like a disappointment.
Why do I make shit more complicated than it needs to be?

So, I'm going back to a LIFESTYLE change mentality.  No Dieting.  LIFESTYLE CHANGE.  My new goal is to be a bit nicer to myself and truly be honest:
  1. Back to 8 glasses of water a day.  If I want more then fine.  If not?  No big deal.
  2. Take the vitamin and probiotic.  It is about HEALTH, not be looking like a hottie.  (I couldn't type that without laughing)
  3.  Exercise Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.  My goal is to exercise 30-45 minutes on those days and burn about 200-250 calories.  
  4. Back to a loss of 1 lb a week.  This means my daily calorie intake will be 1,950 + 200 calories for breastfeeding a toddler + my exercised calories.  This means I will be consuming 2,150  to 2,400 calories a day.  I know that may seem like a lot, but I didn't realize how much Atticus was nursing until we went out of town.  He is still nursing 2-3 times a day (minimum) for about 10-30 minutes each time.  That's a lot of work right there.
  5. I also made my diary private for only friends to read.  I need less pressure.
I'll be weighing on Friday, just to see if last week's visit from Aunt Flo helped retard my weight loss.  I feel much better with some of the pressure off.  I don't know why I do this to myself.  Oh, wait, I do know.  PERFECTIONISM!  Do it perfectly or not all!  I'm never going to achieve any goal if I keep that up.

Feel free to dispense comments of an encouraging nature.  I could really use them right now.  Peace!


Linda said...

You're doing great. Keep up all your hard work.

Susan in TX said...! 25 pounds in 5 months is absolutely awesome!!!! Kudos to you. I've been walking 3-4 miles 4 days a week and haven't lost an ounce. Perhaps it would help if I got more serious about the lifestyle change that involves what goes into my mouth. (sigh)
Rooting for you here! You are such an inspiration to me.

christina said...

I think I have heygrannies. Even when I've been at my goal weight my arms swing to a beat of their own. :) Made me chuckle.

Amanda said...

Getting tired of the journey is normal. Believe me, I get so sick to death of this every few weeks! I do as best as I can to build safeguards - let myself have one treat a day, give myself one day "off" etc - but I still just want to throw my hands up and say never mind sometimes. And I do. I'll eat french fries or ice cream or have a binge day where I eat half a pizza. It happens. But I try to stay healthy 75% of the time, and so the weight comes off. Slowly, oh so slowly now that I've been doing this so long, but always in the right direction. Don't kill yourself to live a way you don't want to live. If two days on, one day off is a good schedule for you that you can keep - stick to that! That's the best advice anyone ever gave me: Don't do anything you're not willing to do for the rest of your life.

And I do have to tell you that eventually, some of this will change. It took me three months of consistent exercise to begin to enjoy it, and only that short because I have always liked exercise to a degree. It took me almost a year of eating fruits and veggies for them to feel like they should be part of my meal, to feel unsatisfied without them. I don't believe in that whole 28-days-makes-a-habit crap. Some take a whole lot longer, but they do happen, if you stick with it long enough.

Giggly said...

You're are doing amazing! Seriously. I think anyone who can take on this change on their own is someone really to admire. Without personal trainers or a dietitian, all on your own. With a job, kids, family routines, daily stresses of life! It's hard to get adjusted to. This change is the hardest thing ever.

I have finally realized too, that I NEED to reward myself with a little fun food. Everyday I have chocolate as my treat and on the weekends I pick one treat that I can indulge with. Ice cream, cake, whatever...I keep up my cardio/strength training once a day for at least 25 minutes and when I have more energy, I will try for 40 minutes. I try to complete at least 5 days a week. I need break days too.

I know to start this change you have to be strict with yourself, but overtime you know what you need for your body and health and you start to see and feel what you need more or less of.

I find that negative thoughts are my worst enemy. I try to stay positive and realize how far I have come. Remembering that it is a lifestyle change and not a diet is so important and it doesn't seem as threatening and stressful.

You are doing so awesome. Keep up your hard work, but balance it with a little rewards with no guilt. It will pay off in a slow healthy way. XO

Amanda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda said...

Thanks for all the encouragement, y'all! It really does help!