Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Children of the Corn, OR, How Bullies and a Corn Allergy Ruined Hope's Day

Back in my earlier days of motherhood I thought parenting would be easier once Hope got older. I wasn't delusional enough to think it would be a piece of cake, but I thought I wouldn't have to worry about Hope being hurt. No more bashing heads into doorknobs, grabbing hot pans, jumping off a bed and onto a pile of Legos, and the myriad of other ways Hope managed to injure herself. I knew parenting an older daughter would involve emotions and hormones, but I thought the physical hurting would be minimized.

Of course this proves how clueless I am. When Hope was little I could read her a story or cuddle with her or tickle her belly and all the hurts would disappear. Tonight Hope was hurting intensely.

----She is allergic to corn and was in tears that she was going to be parted from "dear, sweet popcorn", Annabelle was bullying her for cash or Hope would be mass teased by the fourth grade, her eczema was inflamed and painful, her jeans are stupid, no one plays with her on the playground and instead she walks alone in a circle "to at least get some exercise", it was raining, she misses her Grandma, the remainder of her Halloween candy sucks, Daddy was sleeping all evening from working all night, the cat ignored her and wouldn't play, Mom was 15 minutes late home from work and Hope had to hold her pee in. A bad horrible stupid day----

Hope was curled up in my lap, sobbing, telling me all of these things, and subtly wiping her nose on my shirt. Of course there are things I can do to help her: call the teacher, make non-corn food, show-up on time, wake Sam up, take her to Grandma's, etc... but these are temporary fixes. I can't make it all better and all go away. Yes, we all have days that suck. It happens and all these hurts are ones I can't fix.

This is way harder than having a toddler.


Thomas said...

I feel for Hope. I had a pretty heinous time in school for about 7 years, kids can be awful. I know it doesn't help in the here and now, but all that bullying made me a much stronger, more independent person. Plus, she has you. That will help a lot of the other things disappear.

Giggly said...

Poor girl. Hugs to Hope. Having a great supportive mother is the best thing she could have right now. Something I wish I had had back then.. :-/

I feel for you too, I know it's hard to want to be able to take all the worry and pain away for her, I know I wish I could for my Molly. We're having those tough days, and I wish she would just believe me when I tell her how fantastic, beautiful, and talented she is, and to just ignore those mean ol' kids, but I know she will still worry and be upset because of those mean ol' hormones. I tell her anyway and comfort her the best I can anyway just like you. :)

Eva said...

Awww. Poor Hope. I found out I'm allergic to gluten in June, so I totally understand the sobbing about food allergies thing. Does she like rice cakes or those poofy rice things at all? Maybe a popcorn substitute...

I'm 23, and my mom still gets upset that she can't take away all of my pain. But I love that she's there for me to cry to.

Traci said...

Poor Hope. :(

I would assume that the preteen years would be easier as well. You are doing the best you can in this situation though, as is she (kids are so MEAN). You are an awesome mom, just like Hope is an awesome daughter!

Anonymous said...

Just being there to listen is the best thing, and yep it doesn't get any easier, my daughter came home yesterday in tears and she is 16. And I could ring school and let them know what is going on but that is not what she really wants, she just wanted to let it all out, get some love and support.
I like what Thomas said about the bullying helping to make him a stronger, more independent person, I think it can also make you a more empathetic, kinder person, if you have love and support at home. It still is not a nice thing to have to endure and sometimes you do need to intervene. Good luck to Hope, things can only get better.

Allison said...

Awe, that is so sad. Kids can be just horrible. I hated my middle school years. I really did!

Hope she has some better days coming up!

Amanda said...

Thanks for all of the encouragement. Honestly, all the comments lifted my spirits!