Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Egg on my Face -- No, REALLY, Egg on my Face!

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After a long day of working I came home to relax. By relax I mean cook dinner, do the dishes, clean the litter box, supervise homework, put away laundry, explain the necessity of washing with soap to a 9-year-old, and getting a very angry and soap-smelling little girl tucked in for the night.

Whew. Now to do something relaxing...

I know, I'll try one of those earth-mama home facials, you know, the ones that can be assembled with ingredients found in the kitchen. I love all those lovely products: creams and astringents and those nasty pore pads that rip the junk out of the pores. However, these products are a bit pricey so I haven't used anything but generic face wash for the past year.

Awesome... I'm excited. Time to pamper.

I boil some water and place it in a large pan. Then I drape a towel and my head over the steamy water and feel my pores opening. Now to put the face goop on -- the goop I've chosen is egg whites and a bit of water.

That's right, I'm smearing egg on my face. I read somewhere that it exfoliates and tightens pores. So I'm standing in the kitchen all red-faced from the steam and trying to figure out how to get it on my face. Finger? Paper towel? Basting brush? I decide to go with the paper towel.

Dab ... Dab... Dab... Dab....

Meanwhile, I'm think that I sure am glad Hope is in bed. Otherwise I'd have her forever smearing her breakfast on her face or thinking that mommy has totally lost her mind and gone into a terrible psychosis.

Now I've got egg goop on my face. I stretch out on the couch to wait for the recommended ten minutes. While I wait my thoughts run something like this:
  1. I wonder if I can get salmonella from my pores absorbing raw egg?
  2. I suppose this is how bagels feel.
  3. I don't want to be a bagel.
  4. I'd rather be a frittata
  5. Yeah... I'm a frittata! Filled with ham and cheese and eggy goodness.
  6. Geez, I'm hungry.
  7. Actually, frittatas are warm. This egg is cold and nasty.
  8. Cold and wet...
  9. Cold and wet like a bad sneeze on a very rainy day when you haven't got a tissue.
Ewwww...

By that time I figured ten minutes had passed. I rinsed my face and then washed my face again because I still felt "eggy."

My face did feel silky and fresh, but it was by no means relaxing and made a huge mess. Would I do it again? Probably not.

Next I will try the other breakfast mask of oatmeal and honey. I'll just start smearing random breakfast foods on my face. Wait until you see me go crazy with a jelly doughnut on my face!

4 comments:

Andi said...

LOL, I did the egg facial thing once, and it made me face feel like it was being pulled on each side. Very tight. Much tightening. Kinda scary.

Book pusher said...

Now I bet the soap averse nine year old would have leapt at the opportunity to cover herself with egg. Have fun with the honey and oatmeal less chance of salmonella, I hope.

Rachel said...

Yeah, I've done the egg thing and my face felt so icky afterwards. Please update us on how the oatmeal one works cause I might want to give it a whirl! :-)

Amanda said...

LOL at all of you. I'll try the oatmeal mask sometime next week.